Fly fishing has become one of my favorite times to get away with God. Usually its the old man in movies that goes fly fishing to get away from his wife and to find peace and quiet, but here I am at age 25 retreating to the river to clear my head. Theres something organic and enchanting about being able to escape it all and get into the river.
I had a friend in college named Jonathan Hull. Whenever I asked J Hull, "How are you doing?" He would always respond, "Im in the river man." He was neither a hippie or a drug addict. He was/is one of the few young men that genuinely understood that God is the best thing for our lives. He also knew that to ultimately understand what God is up to and truly see God do big things, we have to let go of control and let God guide us. Whenever he would respond to my question that way it would always make me smile because I could tell that he was truly just letting God guide him. And the key to this was JHull had given up control.
Control has always been something that I struggle with. I have always felt that if something was going to happen then I was going to have to the one who forced or controlled it to happen. This has been an essential flaw in my life. There cant be and growth in life, ministry, or relationships with me controlling their every move. There has to freedom and trust for those to blossom.
Control, in my life atleast, has been just a symptom of the real issue, fear. Fear of failure, hurt, transparency, losing control not just by other people, but ultimately by God. I was reading in my Bible the other day and I came across a scripture that has been given to me in the past, but heard so much that it became stale to me,but this time it hit home. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1 John 4:18 Another friend of mine told me once that, "Fear is the faith of evil. God is love. The two cannot co-exist. One has to take control."
Since then it has been a constant though and intentional progression to trust God more and love HIm more deeply. I am not perfect at all, but am releasing control more and more everyday and letting God perfect His love within me. Maybe that is why I love fly fishing so much. Its my way to get away from the noise and into the river.
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ReplyDeleteI love your word picture. We are all drawn to the "river". I think of this picture, too. When you're in the middle of the river, the water (world) running past you, you have to really concentrate and work at staying in the middle, balancing on the uneven river bottom to stay upright. We have to think about it and practice that skill. Just like being in the middle of the river....
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